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Plays by Alan Richardson
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The Worst Day of My Life Sample

Charlie has made sure that his three female visitors visit at separate times. A wise precaution since he’s married to all of them! But when they all visit at the same time, his day takes a definite turn for the worse. For his three wives, its one revelation after another - like discovering they’re all got identical wedding rings.

MELISSA We’ve all got the same ring!


EVELYN (as they all turn to Charlie) Explain, Charlie Brown.


CHARLIE It is a nice ring. And the jeweller is an old school chum.


JOANNE So that’s why we get a jewellery catalogue in the post every month… and a card every Christmas.


EVELYN Oh yes, Melissa. He had it all nicely planned. I was his morning visitor, Joanne was afternoon. You were evening.


CHARLIE Until that plan went pear-shaped. Of all the hospitals, in all the towns, in all the World, you all walked into mine.

EVELYN Joanne and I take care of Monday to Thursday. And you?


MELISSA Friday and Saturday.


EVELYN I run his home. Joanne runs his business. No prizes for guessing your particular role

  

MELISSA I’m an independent lady. No man keeps me… or vice versa. I have my own Charming pied-á-terre with my specially appointed boudoir.


JOANNE Boudoir? You mean bedroom?


MELISSA No, darling. I mean boudoir. With all kind of extras.


EVELYN Extras?


MELISSA Little bits and pieces. Just to spice things up, if you get my meaning. Believe me, darlings, when I first met lover boy it was lust with a capital “L”. Talk about insatiable... But now… (She sighs) the years have taken their toll. Yet there are still nights when I can unleash the wild animal in Charlie.


EVELYN The only animal I ever see is the one that drops biscuit crumbs on the Axminster.